To Food, Humans Are Sort of Like Zombies

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QUICK DESCRIPTION OF WHAT THIS VIDEO IS It's 3 quick moments of different kinds of food monolouging to the camera in a bright, happy environment about how great it is to be them. It should feel like Sesame Street if possible. Then a person comes to eat them and the screen goes to black and white, with some slow motion and dramatic, scary music. Then it starts over happy with the next food item. The food will sit still in whatever location we find them in. A different person can voice each food i
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  QUICK DESCRIPTION OF WHAT THIS VIDEO ISIt's 3 quick moments of different kinds of food monolougingto the camera in a bright, happy environment about how greatit is to be them. It should feel like Sesame Street ifpossible. Then a person comes to eat them and the screen goesto black and white, with some slow motion and dramatic, scarymusic. Then it starts over happy with the next food item.The food will sit still in whatever location we find them in.A different person can voice each food item to give somevariety. There won't be any animated mouths, just some kindof food in the middle of the screen with a voice talking asif it's the food and it's completely normal that it's talkingto the audience. We can either record the voices during theediting or during the shooting, depending on if we cancapture good enough sound.INT. BOWL OF FRUIT - DAYAn APPLE is in a fruit bowl next to some bananas and orangesand whatever other kind of fruit we put in there.APPLEHi, how ya' doing? I'm an apple.I'm just hanging out here with myfriends in this great bowl. Iprobably shouldn't be talking tooloud 'cuz everybody's asleep.What's that? You'd like to knowsome things about me? Well firstoff, I'm very proud to be an apple.Apples are a special part of theworld. One of the biggest citiesaround is nicknamed after me.There's even a large computercompany named after who else? Me.Back whenever settlers first cameover to the New World there was asurplus of --A person comes in the room and walks toward the apple.Everything goes to slow motion black and white. Cue thescary music.APPLE(panicking )OH NO!! It's a person!!! I'vegotta' hide fast!! I hope theychoose one of the other fruits inthis bowl!!! I know that's a darkthing to say but being in anapocalyptic situation such as thishas brought out and ugly side of myapple nature!! All normal stakeshave changed now since the humanshave taken over!! This can't be  the end!! I must fight for mysurvival!! This is not how Ithought it wound --Crunch. The person takes a bite of the apple. It shuts himup. This should be filmed as violently and dramatically aspossible. Perhaps we're left with an image of an apple corein a trash can or being dropped carelessly on the floor.End Scene.INT. A KITCHEN COUNTER - DAYA TACO sits happily on a kitchen counter.TACO(Mexican accent ifpossible)Hola! I'm a taco!! Wanna be miamigo?! Life is muy fantasico hereon this counter! I have to saythat I haven't been a complete tacofor a very long time but in thelast hour all of my parts havecombined to become me, a taco! Inmy previous states I heard storiestold of turning into a taco but Inever thought it would happen toME! But now I sit in awe of myselfand just soak up the happiness ofbeing a complete taco! I don'tmean to be self centered but todayis my cumpleaneos and I am LOVINGit!! Back in Mejico I had --A person walks in. Goes B & W. Slow mo. Dramatic music.TACO(freaking)Aye aye aye!! Aidios mio!! What isthat gigantic monster?! It seemsmindless from my perspective!! Iwish someone had put legs on meinstead of diced tomatoes so Icould flee from this potentialcarnagio!! I thought the peoplemonsters were just superstitiouslegend passed down by all the oldtaco parts I knew as a young pretaco!! I never thought thisappocalyptic horror was a reality!!Back in Mejico I --BLIIIAAAGHHHHH!!!The taco is eaten in violent slow mo. Crumbs and lettuceshards fall dramatically to the floor or opened taco wrap.End scene.  INT. A PLATE - DAYA marshmallow sits on a plate surrounded by his marshmallowbrethren.He has the personality of a rapper.MARSHMALLOWYo yo yo, whatup youtube?! Yo, I'mjust workin' it here on dis platekeepin' it real for two thousandeleven, ya'll feel me? Life is da'bomb, yo! I'm just doin' what Ialways do: chillin' wit' mymarshmallow homies! Shout out!! Yo,we just kick it old school style onthis plate, word. We like toreminice about the old days, knowwhat I'm sayin'? Remember hi tops?Oh shoot! Remember break dancingon cardboard boxes? Yo, I used tobe da' illest head spinner outta'all the marshmallows around, word!I could spin on my head for like 10minutes at a clip, homeboys andhomegirls!! My kids don't believeme but I used to --A person or 2 walk in the room. B & W. Slow mo. Dramaticmusic.MARSHMALLOW(unhinged)Oh (BLEEP)!!! It's some (BLEEPIN')people!!! I shoulda' been mo'prepared for dis, yo!! I ain'teven made peace with themarshmallow Jesus!! I didn't thinkthe end was gonna' come so fast!! Iain't ready to bounce outta' theworld just yet! I gotta' find da;stremph in maseff to obercome'dis!! AHHH!!The marshmallow rolls off the plate and onto the floor andthen underneath a couch, out of site.INT. UNDER THE COUCH - JUST THENMARSHMALLOW(from under the couch)Yo, da' food that survives thesepeople attacks is gonna' have tolearn fast about how to live indeez crazy times. Things ain'tgonna ever be as simple as dey wuzback on the plate. I may have tohook up wit' a rag tag group of  other surviving food items. Yo,it's definitely gonna' take me outof my comfort zone to kick it withsome samiches and pizza and junkbut yo' that's just how it is inthis new appocalyptic reality,Doggs. We got to evolve, yo'.Tha' game done changed. You gotsta' change wit' it, feel me?A SANDWICH with a bite taken out of him comes over next tothe Marshmallow.SANDWICHHey, have they gotten to you, man?Have you kept your foodanity?MARSHMALLOWYo, I been thru' da' (bleep) tooand I'm still kickin' it and Iintend to continue kickin' it. Ifyou want to start a food team thenI'm game. But don't play me for nofool, Homie. I'm a marshmallow youdon't wanna have as an enemy.SANDWICHMan, I lost my family. They goteaten. Look at me. Someone took abite of me. Luckily they got aphone call before they got anyfurther and I had time to sneakaway. I'm alone in this neverending hell just like you. I justneed a friend. And by the way, thesafety of being under this couch isnice but it already feels like it'sgetting boring and dragging. Weshould get a move on.MARSHMALLOWWell, there's only one thing leftto do --The Marshmallow looks at the camera (whatever that means).MARSHMALLOWSUVIVE!!!!The Marshmallow and the Sandwich high five (whatever thatmeans). Times They Are A Changing by Bob Dylan or a cryptic JohnnyCash song plays as they hobble away.The End.SUPA' BIG.
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